#Trust30 Day 28 – Overcoming Uncertainty by Sean Ogle

Overcoming Uncertainty by Sean Ogle 

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Write down a major life goal you have yet to achieve or even begin to take action on. For each goal, write down three uncertainties (read: fears) you have relating to each goal. Break it down further, and write down three reasons for each uncertainty. When you have three reasons for your fear, you’ll be able to start processing the change because you know where the fear stems from. Now you’ll be able to make a smaller changes that push you towards your larger goal. So begins the process of “trusting yourself.”

(Author: Sean Ogle)

Today’s Sentence:

Sometimes what you cannot bring yourself to do for yourself, you can do when someone else needs you.

My Uncertainty:

One major life goal I’ve yet to accomplish and am struggling to begin in earnest:

Writing.  Writing everyday.  Writing every story that comes into my head.  And maybe, with time and luck (sweat, blood and tears), getting published.

Fears:

1.  What I want to write is inherently wrong and in falling down the rabbit hole after the story I’ll get lost, lose myself (mind and questionable sanity) and risk losing Micki and all I care about.

Reasons for fear:

  • What comes naturally tends to be of a darker nature.  The shadow side of the human mind.
  • I’ve had a few people, who’s opinion I cared about, look at me like I’m a scary person after reading something I wrote or outright ask me why I don’t write “happy” stuff.
  • When truly “in the zone” writing – the story becomes real, like being in two worlds at the same time.  If I lost track of which reality was the real one I could lose everything that I care about.

2.  I’ll fail, fail Micki, and have wasted time on a selfish venture to no end.  

Reasons for fear:

  • For a myriad of reasons that I won’t go into here, the publishing industry is in a period of volatile transition, which affects the chances of getting published at all.
  • Micki is being so supportive, allowing me the freedom to pursue a dream without worry so long as I’m happy.  I don’t want to disappoint her.
  • I’m not used to my dreams mattering, and I don’t do selfish well.

3.  Or I’ll succeed, and the changes that will bring will force me to have to lose time with Micki.  Time that I cherish.

Reasons for fear:

  • If I publish a book, there will be a desire (hopefully) for sequels – which will demand more of my time devoted to the writing itself.
  • This would also make a demand on my time for all the behind the scene’s of the business of writing.
  • Demands for time for promoting and conventions would also arise.  All this would detract from time I could spend with Micki, and while we’re not attached at the hip – she’s my best friend and I cherish my time with her.
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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. arienwen
    Sep 06, 2011 @ 22:20:31

    I can understand a lot of those fears. I like to say that I don’t write the story the pen does (or my fingers if I am typing it) because I, too, get completely lost in it. However, I know my stories won’t be published; historical romances are only set in three time periods: Medieval, Regency, or late Victorian. So it gives me a bit of freedom.

    Writing can be a catharsis sometimes, regardless of the subject matter. I’m wondering if you write just for your own pleasure instead of with the thought that it might be published, if that would ease some of the fear?

    Reply

    • Courtney Galloway
      Sep 06, 2011 @ 22:31:49

      I have done some of the writing for just my own pleasure. Mostly poetry, some shorts – the problem is they always seem to wind up being read by someone. I’ve learned in very painful ways that it can be dangerous to commit things to paper or screen – even if hid, password locked, etc. – they somehow seem to still get read. And often by people you would trust – and for me it’s ended in pain. Plus, I would like to turn writing into a career which necessitates publishing. I’m my own WIP, you could say! 🙂

      Reply

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